If words are never read, then thoughts are lost

Solitary is a good word to explain how I feel about blogging.

When i tap the publish button I feel my blog, my thought, its message is in a solitary place.

Unviewed and unloved!

Like many, I spend hours trying to craft a perfect blog.  Except Lol  it’s the ‘daily one word’ blog of course!

For me, my blogs are about personal experience, views of life and poking fun on myself!

We all need to do the last bit more often in my view!

I’m new to this experience of sharing my thoughts and views with the world, so while there are countless bloggers with thought proking views, tips, ideas I feel even more naked towards my blog and the dread of solitude.

Bloggers and their blogs have at times touched my soul, moved my core and helped me to improve as a person and also at times increase my knowledge of a subject.

Except DIY, I’m just rubbish, im a tryer but if school games were based on DIY then I’d be the last picked, literally in solitude and rightly so!!

I salute the bloggers; the tryers, the changers and the downright brilliant who make the internet a lovely place to visit.

Long may you blog and I hope not in solitude.

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A prickle in time

Prickle

I’m about to marry this beautiful woman Tina.

I’ve never known anyone with such compassionate love towards animals, she truly is amazing.

My first experience of this love was seeing her cross the street to pick up a worm in danger of pedestrian treading territory!

She has a love and care of family too, always keen to put on parties with the aim of wanting people to have fun.

Yet all this was unknown to me when I first did a Facebook poke to her in 2008.  I think they changed the settings since then but at the time you could choose similar parameters to yourself.  Like age location etc.

So I was single and bored and had time on my hands.  I was trawling through the parameters, pictures of people my age my location etc etc.

Then stop the press.

This beautiful picture of a woman appeared on my screen.

Remember Facebook poking?  I was close to doing it but thought maybe not, so left it.

Her face kept in my mind for a while after, couple of months maybe.  I don’t know why but her face stayed with me.

It was Christmas 2008 and she had updated something on Facebook suggesting she was in a sad place.

So I ‘poked her’!

Conversations started, they matured over two months and we agreed to meet.  Boy I was nervous at that first meeting, I mean we met online, kind of before online dating was established!

It happened we would meet at the Wales Scotland game.  My brother sussed something was up as I was smartly dressed instead of my usual rugby shirt!

I met Tina after the game, it’s still vivid the thought of standing outside the ground, I had prickes of goosebumps!

Nervously waiting.

Will she show won’t she show!  And why are all these kilt wearing Scotsman flashing their wares!

I saw more of what I didn’t want to see in a lifetime!

Thankfully Tina did show and we left the ballsy flashing Scots to start a beautiful romance.

I can’t wait to marry her, those prickes are back as I’m closing out this post!

Time to do..

Time goes faster as we get older, that’s what people say.

I remember as a child summer holidays were a vastness of fun and exploration where time was endless, now summer is a brief interlude into hoping the sun will appear whilst balancing work and the chores of a home and garden.

We bought a hot tub recently, Tina started a pet walking business we have a great time but feel there’s less of it than those halcyon days of my childhood and those long lazy summers.  How come?!

Time is a tick tocking teasing provocateur who creaps when mortality is realised to punish when we have a good time and torture us when the ‘day drags’.

I’m sat here now attempting and likely failing the perfect jiffy related daily story for WordPress, yet it strikes me that time is like juggling sand, the more you try the more the sand falls to the ground.

So for now I won’t waste this moment in time, I’ll put my tablet down and spend quality time and reflect on the grains of happy memories of my past for that’s all we can hope for.

The quicker the sand falls the more memories we want to capture and cherish.

 Jiffy

Bad bosses, stale bread and great coaches

We’ve all had them right? The boss who brings pain, anguish, frustration to a working life. They put pressure on the need to put bread on the table and preoccupies the mind when sleep should bring rest.

Whether it’s the deceiver, the faker, the out for themselvers, the lazy, the weak, the arrogant, the boss who just fails to be..well, a leader.

If you’ve not had a bad boss then you’re either lucky or self employed!

Anecdotes of our working woes have been employed to humour family and friends since the start of employment. What would the workers at the pyramid of giza have said of their bosses?

I was in a shop recently where I heard two workers being, well less than complimentary of the boss. The comments suggested this was their bad boss, sounding like the boss fell into the lazy and weak category with a splash of arrogance!

OUCH..they must really be a bad boss right?

Walking back to my car, and on the drive to work the thought kept replaying in my mind..What to do with a bad boss?

The bad boss is still a person, someone who needs to bring bread to their own table so why do they need to be..well bad.

We’re all in it together aren’t we?

I’ve also been lucky to have leaders in my life who really do listen inspire allow growth and..well they lead you to a better place amazing.

I’ve had two bad bosses, the first was inflexible and stuck to the rules, couldn’t change and wouldn’t want to..yet the second was the definite clear bad boss winner and all time champion.

Feel free to challenge this!

He offended pretty much all of my values and core beliefs; Honesty, integrity, team working, helping others yep they all got pretty much pooped on!

This guy not only takes the biscuit, he bought the biscuit factory!

For my first bad boss I felt powerless with the ‘only out’ being to find another job.

Which is what I did.

Thankfully for my ‘poop dropping biscuit factory owner’ bad boss I had a fantastic friend and coach who gave me great advice and helped me to grow as an employee and person.

If you can find a great coach the battle is half won.

He taught me to believe in myself, that I have a voice, to use it and challenge the boss, become the parent, win the small battles, create conviction and in turn value.

Trust me this is not one of those linkedin type blogs which offers little return from a big opening statement..its my experiences of bad bosses done in a humourous way!

The coaching along with my conviction to change did make a positive outcome. Yes along the way there was a whole bag of private ranting!

Words are easier than action I get it but if the bread goes stale, your future goes moldy.

It’s not only the boss who’s bad, maybe we need to self reflect, judge and adjust ourselves like we want to do our bosses. We’re all getting that bread on the table and need each other to do so to drive our business forward.

Whatever business that maybe.

For me I’ve learnt the only options are not just to accept a bad boss or to leave a job.

I had a tonne of low points but like I said having a great coach really helps.

Through him i went for that positive change, to push the boss into being a leader, it didn’t work but it improved me as a employee and got me noticed.

Why should the bad boss crush our standards and values, they belong to us.

I have to say, those workers whilst ranting were doing a great job so maybe it was just the blowing of steam and not the willingness to change.

There will always be the 9 to 5 anecdotes and long may they live..to an extent.