Tide and crickets

I’m with my beautiful new bride, my wife, my wifey.

Sat here, privileged to be here, hearing this view, seeing this view.

We’re feeling this view.

The tide rolls in, washing the shore with a salty hello.

Crickets, unseen are singing their crickity endless song.

It’s a lovely second floor view of a wide open sea blanketed by a deep blue evening sky.

The sun is about to kiss the sea and bring another luscious orange glow.

Staff have worked tirelessly, making our experience something special.

Like focused bees they glide efficiently around the guests of the hotel we’re staying at for our honeymoon.

In the background and out of sight they bring a drink, clear a plate, freshen a room, ever the watchful owls.

Bees or owls?

We’re on our balcony in guest dressing gowns and looking at this beautiful view of a setting sun over a Cypriot sea.   

Dotted palm trees that stretch along the walkway that hugs the shore line become shades as day turns to night and the sky becomes a vista of stars.

Walking around today, with my deliriously happy honeymoon mind, I saw a painted picture of a multitude of human emotions.

People bored, people desperate; helpful, distant, tired, excited, happy, sad, relaxed.

Families, couples, singles.

Yet the happy workers work, they have their own turmoil yes maybe but it’s not shown.

So I’m sat feeling blessed that I’m now married, and married to a beautiful woman and person.

How many have sat in my seat, looking at this view in this dressing gown.

Did they see what I feel, did they feel as happy as me? 

The crickets keep cricketing and the tide keeps rolling.

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Elasticate

Something I admire about Elastic, it takes a lot to pull it apart. The stronger it is the harder to break it.

Take the elastic band. Beautiful. Perfectly cast roundness, unbreakable and together. Pull it and it stretches lovely.

I had an elastic band holding my rear head torch in place all winter. Tough bands them. Mine eventually broke, but from old age bless it.

When I think of that band and compare it to us, and our families I question our strength of solid connectivity.

For elastic, it’s science, it doesn’t have a mind it doesn’t have to think under pressure of being stretched it just does its science thing.

For us, our lifes generally elasticate around family, friends, work and other activities. Expanding and contracting in a usually ok place.

Yet sometimes we are close to snapping that beautiful elastic existence for one reason or another.

For whatever those reasons, right or wrong do we really want to break that perfect elasticitiy, sadly yes and all too often sometimes.

Yet, unlike the broken elastic band holding my rear head torch in place, as people we can mend our relations.

For us its not science but our humanity that decides on our continued connectivity.

Unlike the elastic band, it is possible.

Leave a gap, maybe indicate an intention too

It’s that time of season, nights are drawing in, coolness from the threats of autumn over the last few weeks are now reality.

I cycled home tonight and heard the crispy crunch of the leaves as my tyres ran over them.  I saw a carpet of dying leaves on the cycle track ahead of me.

Luckily most of my journey to work and home is on a cycle track, but not all.

There’s always a bit of poignancy to see these dead leaves, as from our bedroom window we’d wake every morning in early spring to see buds forming, to eventually watch each individual Leaf forming, eventually those leaves were lost amongst the masses of a fully covered tree in the hight of summer.

Then eventually autumn would rob the tree of its beautiful leaves.

Tonight I had flashbacks to this time last year when I felt and noticed a change in the behaviours of road users.

More aggressive short tempered attitudes and displays of sheer stupidity.

There was one near death instance where a car flew out from a roundabout, luckily I sensed their intention and started to slow.

He was too busy in his world to have properly looked.  Yet what really scared me was, as he pulled out, he eventually saw me and instead of realising what he could have done he was instead non perplexed, still in his own world.  I’m in a rush state of mind

I promised in the about me page of my site that I’d have a moan now and then.  This is that time.

You may not still be reading this, but if you are then I’d beg any motorised drivers (like me when I’m not cycling myself) to take care and watch out for cyclists and pedestrians.

Its so easy to get wrapped up in our own world but what world would a person have serving a manslaughter sentence, lost their job, their self respect, their friends, their future and for what?

Mowing down another as easy as my tyres did to those fallen leaves just to send that text, just because they had a bad day, just because it’s getting dark, just, just, just..

Don’t forget the responsibility of what driving a vehicle brings.  Please share if you think this message is important.

Mmm, chips from lilywhites

Those were thoughts that got my saliva going and my tummy grumbling with a desire for chips from lillywhites.

As a kid those were the best most amazing bag of chips.  Crunchy golden chip wonderness.

The bag of beautifulness was, well, epic.

Chips from lillywhites made an evening, the best take away treat surely anyone within walking distance of lillywhites chip shop.

Which happened to be located, thankfully where I grew up in sunny Briton Ferry, Wales.

It’s an odd, dangerous experience to revisit such an amazing memory from our youth, whether it’s food, a film, a place.

Those halcyon memories, should they be preserved or risked with ruin to find our adult taste buds, our adult minds or adult eyes have simply moved on, from halcyon to horror or humour at the thought of..

Why did I love that!!!

I passed the lillywhites today and it was sad to see it closed, it’s been closed for a few years, which I knew but sad all the same.

It was a house at the end of a terrace which they made into a chip shop. Proper cute and none of the modern fancy setups.  Just pure love of the deep fried chip!

Thankfully for my risk of ruin, before they closed I did revisit when I first came home and those chips changed a 36 year old man to a child of 8, crunching on the best chips in the world.

So whilst the halcyon memory of my youth remained intact, it was my adult memory that felt the bitter sweet memory of knowing the chips were still amazing but the place is now closed, more so as I walked past today to see the quietness of the house where once queues of people were ready to pleasure their stomachs with flavorful taste of your offerings.

Whatever happened to the owners, thank you for making a boy and man happy, as I’m sure you did to the thousands of people who crossed your doorstep.

Botanically speaking..

​Thorns are hard, rigid extensions of leaves, roots, stems, etc and their soul aim is to serve physically protect animals from eating the plant material.

I’ve met plenty of thorny people through my life, what gives, why do people need to be akin to a game of twister!

A slightly awkward positioning of body through movement to stay clear of those sharp thorns!

In nature’s world, the thorn is a positive, it protects the plant from harm.  

Maybe there’s a lesson to us, in how some people protect their inner self from harm.

Thankfully not everyone I’ve met has had a thorny protective barrier, but for those we will meet, then the natural reaction to those thorns is the wrong course. 

For me I switch of to the thorny people, can’t bear to deal with them and would prefer the warm and welcoming people.

Yet..

Taking a leaf from nature, spending time to part those thorns, to see the being of what those thorns are protecting should be the right course.

Maybe that’s a must consideration of how we deal with thorny people.

While not everything revealed is worth protecting, isn’t it a still worth a try.

Just a thought. 

A word we all dread to utter

Sympathy, not a word I used much in my younger years.  Unfortunately a word I’m starting to get accustomed to.

It’s a horrible simple word that gestures the knowledge and offering that someone or something has come to an end.

So much pain and loss this word has caused.  It’s a dreaded word.

Thankfully there are also words that bring light to darkness.

Joy, happiness, togetherness, family, friends, love.

Long may these words and the memories they bring distance that word we dread to utter.

It’s a cliche to say time is short, for me this weighs heavy when I’m giving my sympathy at a wake or learning of a terrible catastrophy or horrible terrorist atrocity.

Yet when back in work, faced with problems or the everyday hum drum of life, the realisation of how special and important life has to offer distances itself.

Still, it’s all life, time is inevitable but I hope the word sympathy stays a stranger for as long as possible.

The cat who would not give up

A couple of months back my beautiful bride to be asked if we could rehome an older cat.

Tina had visited Ty Nant cat sanctuary to hand over provisions for the animals.

Tee is a huge animal lover and part of the reason why she is so special to me.

Tee was asked if she wanted to look at the cats currently looking for a home.  She was taken into the kitten room.  It was a beautifully sad scene of all these kittens needing to be rehomed. Miaows aplenty.

She resisted knowing that our own Bonnie at 16 wasn’t ready for an energetic kitten messing her retirement pleasures of eating and sleeping!

Aha thought the owner, let me show you the older cats who need a good home.

Tee described walking into the room and her heart sank.  No one really wants to take on an older cat, people naturally go for the kittens.

There was one cat hitting 20, could barely move but would try and come over for a cuddle.  Who said cats are cold.

One cat though jumped down and ran over leaping onto tees lap.

This was the cat that tee asked me for us to have.  Her name was Gypsy and named for good reasons.

Gypsy knew tee was the one she wanted to go home with, instant connection.

I like to think she sensed the goodness in tee and thought yep, you’ll do for me.

Gypsy loves food and a fuss, whenever she is stroked she let’s out a crackly miaow.

She was named Gypsy as she was found roaming.  She was found with no fur, her skin was sunburnt.  She’s got just one tooth that means her tongue pokes out.

We don’t know how she survived but Ty Nant took her in, cared for her.  Her fur grew back, her appetite returned, the attention and love they gave her is immense.

We’ve continued that love for her, she’s not afraid of people or other animals so we don’t believe she became a stray because of animal cruelty, so it’s a mystery.  Maybe her owners moved away but left her behind accidentally, who knows.

Yet I know one thing, we’re giving her as much love as a cat could want.

Even Bonnie who is doesn’t really like other cats has been accepting of Gypsy.

Maybe Bonnie senses the rough time that gypsy has had.  We estimate she’s 12, god knows how long she was a stray for.

To overcome what she had experienced, cold dark nights, no food, no home or shelter, alone.  It’s no wonder she’s not fussed by other animals, it’s as if she’s thinking that, I’ve been through hell so nothing can scare me now.

Whilst her tongue pokes out for only having one tooth, it feels like she is poking fun at the world.  I’m still here!

I love giving her a fuss, but stroking her even though her fur is back it doesn’t hide the bumps and blisters of where her skin was bare to the elements.

Here’s a picture, we only wish she could use the toilet, as she often leaves messages, warm brown ones around the house!

This is a cat who’s overcome unimaginable horrors and for that we’ll love and care for her.

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What comes, then goes

An almost silent and distant hum of a car approaching.

I was in my bed, at age 10, counting sheep was not helping.  Don’t get me wrong I can count, but my sleep wasn’t  coming by counting those little cute fence jumping sheep.

The sound got a bit louder, closer.

I lived on a hill, my bedroom was at the front of the house overlooking a reasonably quiet road.

We used to have the melyn manor up the road.

Interesting place is possibly the best way to sum the manor up.  Especially on a weekend where the sossled staggered past our house early in the morning.

Harmless men singing songs of things that a ten year old shouldn’t probably hear.

The cars engine got louder.

Who’s in that car, where have they come from.  Do they have a passenger, are they alone.  Listening to music or with window open enjoying a cool breeze of a surprising warm and dry Welsh 80’s evening.

The car is getting closer, I stared at the gap between the top of the curtain and the wall ready for it.

My bedroom was in darkness, nearly for the slight moonlight reaching through that gap.  My parents room was behind me and the slow rhythmic snore of my father was the only other sound.

The car was really close, the rev of the engine I could hear as it started to climb our hill.

I liked my little bedroom, it was mine, my secure place.  So extending my thoughts from the safety of my bedroom out into the moonlit darkness gave an odd feeling of curiousness and danger

Who was this mysterious driver.

Then quickly the room lit with his headlights, my ears were filled with the sound of his engine.  It was a crescendo to my senses.

And then as quick as it came, the car, it’s driver their thoughts and feelings were gone, gradually fading into eventual silence, leaving just the soft rhymetic snoring of my father.

Where are the going to, are they going home, have they left home are they happy or sad.

To many questions for a ten year old, whos slowly drifting into sleep to answer

Nos da

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Time to applause

I’ve worked in some places where it feels the culture is to be critical, whether it’s a colleague, a process, the boss, stationary control even.

What on earth are they saying about me when my back is turned!

I’ve had colleagues stare at me in downright condemnation for being complimentary of a colleague who’s being verbally stoned.

I don’t mind if it’s based in fact, but I’d prefer if those colleagues who see more faults than San Andreas actually first looked at themselves, maybe the issue lies within, but if not then to look to improve the fault that’s tickling their critical hot spots.

I’m a peacekeeper not a hard challenger at positive change, both have success and failure.  Yet it’s important to keep pushing to make the world a happy and productive place.

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I’m not perfect mind, there’s people who simply don’t want to change and certainly they are the ones I’m critical of.

I read somewhere that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile,  so I guess it’s the same with behaviours.  Should we treat others with a negative or positive behaviour, to strive forwards with applause or backwards with criticism.

As long as either is justly deserved.

 

My balloon fell on the moon

I can’t recall where, but as a seven year old I’d been somewhere that earnt me a balloon.

I was walking home with my mum, one hand in her hand and my other holding this balloon.  Best balloon in the world, its smooth silky like bobbing in the wind captivated me.  She danced as dusk touched our day.

We were nearly home, I must have got distracted, maybe mum was asking a question or the magic of my balloon temporarily escaped me.

One minute my balloon was safe in the guardian grip of my hand, holding the string that kept my balloon close.

Yet then she was gone, floating away into the air, higher and higher, gone lost.

I had this such clear vivid memory of hopelessly chasing my balloon, shouts and tears as she floated higher to the moon.

Without Rhyme or reason I was crushed.  Years later as an adult, that memory confused me, why did the loss of this balloon upset me.

At that age the little things that are so important, so crucial seem miniscule as an adult.  Yet they signpost to who we are.

I made that balloon a part of me and with it’s loss it felt I was losing something close.  Like a close friend that becomes a distant contact.

Not sure this makes sense, no rhyme or reason i guess, but I do hope that balloon, made it to the moon.